В косвенную речь: 1. Dentist: Stop screaming! I haven't touched your tooth yet.
Barry: I know, but you're standing on my foot.
2. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. no mind 2. no business.
3. Bill: Why the glum look?
Stan: I just don't understand today's world. My son wears an earring. My daughter has a tattoo. My wife makes twice what I do.
Bill: So what are you going to do?
Stan: I'm going home to my father.
4. When he found a six-year-old shoe-repair ticket in the pocket of an old suit, Brown called the shop to see if the shoes were still around.
"Were they black wing tips needing half soles?" asked a clerk.
"Yes," said Brown. "We'll have them ready in a week."
5. Mother to daughter:
– What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?
– Of course, he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children. (from "Stupid Men's Jokes")