Спереводом по tea the trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. so a group of the most eminent british scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. to the eternal glory of british science their labour bore fruit. they suggested that if you do not drink it clear, or with lemon or rum and sugar, but pour a few drops of cold milk into it, and no sugar at all, the desired object is achieved. once this refreshing, aromatic, oriental beverage was successfully transformed into colourless and tasteless gargling-water, it suddenly became the national drink of great britain and ireland - still retaining, indeed usurping, the high-sounding title of tea. there are some occasions when you must not refuse a cup of tea, otherwise you are judged an exotic and barbarous bird without any hope of ever being able to take your place in civilised society. if you are invited to an english home, at five o'clock in the morning you get a cup of tea. it is either brought in by a heartily smiling hostess or an almost malevolently silent maid. when you are disturbed in your sweetest morning sleep you must not say: 'madame (or mabel), i think you are a cruel, spiteful and malignant person who deserves to be shot.' on the contrary, you have to declare with your best five o'clock smile: 'thank you so much. i do adore a cup of early morning tea, especially early in the morning.' if they leave you alone with the liquid, you may pour it down the washbasin. then you have tea for breakfast; then you have tea at eleven o'clock in the morning; then after lunch; then you have tea for tea; then after supper; and again at eleven o'clock at night.
